Playing and performing through life’s challenges

By Sue Baldani

Despite much adversity, Mark Volman has had a very happy life. A founding member of the 1960s band The Turtles, he and his high school friends signed with a record label at 18 years old and it changed their lives. “It was a whole new world for us, and a chance for us to get out get out of Westchester, California, travel and play our music,” he says.

Since then, his life has been filled with adventure. He’s played with other great musical icons like John Lennon, Bruce Springsteen, Bono and Frank Zappa.

One of the band’s most iconic songs and the one most people can’t help singing along with is Happy Together. For the past nine years, Mark and a group of other renowned singers and bands from the 1960s, including Gary Puckett & The Union Gap,  Chuck Negron (formerly of Three Dog Night), The Association, Mark Lindsay (former lead singer of Paul Revere & The Raiders) and The Cowsills, have been touring. The Happy Together 2023 tour kicked off in May in Florida, and when it’s finished, the musicians will have played 40 shows, including one at the Ryman Auditorium in August.

“These are all groups I grew up with and I just love all of their songs and their music,” says Mark. “The tour is just really fun, and at the end of the night we do a finale. It’s a memorable time for each of us, a spiritual thing. These are the people I will be with until the end of my life.”

To keep things fresh, the tour changes somewhat every year. “Bringing Little Anthony onto our tour this year has really given us a whole new kind of life,” he says. “He’s not only a genuinely sweet man, but he participates in some of the goofiest things on the road.”

The tour draws many original fans, but the audience is comprised of people of all ages. “We see so many 16 to 21 year olds who want to play and hear the music of The Turtles, the Beatles, Grand Funk Railroad and all the artists that are in our show,” says Mark. “Our songs cover the generational scope; we’re like a museum on tour. There’s a lot of love that takes place and it’s what Woodstock tried to do in terms of bringing relationships together.” There are now plans in the works for a Happy Together album.

While being on tour is never easy, Mark was faced with some extra challenges. In 2015, he was diagnosed with throat cancer and had to go through grueling treatments in order to beat it. Then, in 2020, he was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia, a condition that can lead to problems with thinking, movement, behavior, and mood.

“It’s harder than I thought, but I have the greatest people around me,” he says. “Members of my band trail around to make sure I’m okay. I can’t thank them enough or my family. My kids call me every night when I’m on the road to make sure I’m okay.

“There’s a lot going on in my brain, but I have a fun life. I’m really blessed and I can’t let it get to me. I just have to keep working through it. We’re already talking about next year’s tour.”

Many people also remember Mark as Flo (short for Phlorescent Leech). With lifelong comic foil Howard Kaylan, Mark was Flo to his Eddie and the duo has been compared to a rock-era Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis.

Along with his musical success, Mark is also very accomplished in the world of academia. At the age of 44, he began his pursuit of degrees that would allow him to become an assistant professor and chair of the Entertainment Industry Studies program in the Mike Curb School for Entertainment and Music Business at Belmont University.

“Professors brought me in to talk about The Turtles and I was already doing other things at universities to fill my life with teaching others how to utilize their musical talent. It’s not going to go anywhere if they don’t make it happen, and they need to step into the business of being an artist. Learning all of those elements was a challenge for me.”

He adds, “I wanted to be able to help young singers, songwriters, publishers, and those in management with all of the things I was swamped with as an artist. I finally graduated after six years with a bachelor’s and master’s, doing everything that the school demanded I go through on order to teach. I even sang in the choir.”

For 12 years, he greatly enjoyed teaching and misses it. “But I can’t do everything,” says Mark. “Now I want to do more creatively. I want to write and I have some ideas for film and television.”

Speaking of writing, Mark’s book, Happy Forever: My Musical Adventures With The Turtles, Frank Zappa, T. Rex, Flo & Eddie, and More, was published in June. Although it’s labeled as an autobiography, his life is mostly told through memories, anecdotes and reflections of over 100 of his friends, peers and family members. This impressive list includes members of the Doors, the E Street Band, The Monkees, and other major players in the world of radio, animation and academia. Underneath some of these reflections are responses, often humorous, by Mark. The book also includes never-before-seen photos, and forewords by Alice Cooper and Chris Hillman.

“I was so surprised that so many people wanted to be involved in the book, and there were times I almost didn’t recognize the character they were writing about. He sounded like a really nice guy and I wanted to meet him. I felt like Sally Fields at times, ‘They liked me! They really liked me!’ It was an interesting way to conceptualize the different ways that artists look at each other.

“Honestly, it took me 13 years to be able to put the final note on this book. At the end of each year, we came to a point where John Cody [who compiled the book with Mark] and I were going to review what we’ve created that year, but we weren’t sure how to stop or when it was going to stop, so every year we just kept adding to it.”

This book has inspired him to work on another one. “It was just a magnificent experience for me and now I’m working to put together a book called Tales From the Road, which is stories about being on tour. I’m finding a new way to create and I’m happy to see it unfold.

“I’ve got all these big plans. I’ve written some movies and there are kids’ shows I’d like to be a part of. I’m just going to take it one day at a time and see what God’s plan is for me.”

When not creating, on tour, or writing books, Mark’s happy to hang out at his home in Franklin. “I really love the area; I love the city,” he says. “I love the people who are coming here. Happy together and happy forever is how it should be.”

To find out more, go to TheTurtles.com.

Written for Franklin Lifestyle magazine in Tennessee.

Coping with loneliness and loss during the holiday season

By Sue Baldani

People dealing with loneliness and/or grief may find that these feelings are exacerbated during the holiday season. They may think back to holidays of the past when all their loved ones would get together to celebrate. For seniors, these feeling can be even more intense.

“It’s a combination of where they are in their lifespans and realizing that either loved ones are farther away from them or have passed and situations have changed because of aging,” says clinical psychotherapist, Rebecca Palen, who is the founder of H3 – Hope, Healing and Health with a home office in St. Clair Shores. “Maybe their spouse or their best friend can’t get around as easily as they used to. The actual aging process makes them more aware of how things used to be.”

Everyone wants that perfect Hallmark holiday, but very few get to experience it, and it’s even less likely for seniors. “There’s a study that shows Christmas is actually one of the loneliest holidays of the year, especially for grief and loss, because that’s when most families and loved ones make the biggest effort to get together,” she says.

Emotional and physical health as well as financial issues may prevent seniors from traveling to visit family and friends and the feelings of loneliness are intensified because they know everyone else is together for the holidays.

Rebecca, who has an advanced certificate on grief and loss, has some helpful suggestions for seniors to help them get through the difficult and emotional holiday season.

“Practice self-care, which is healthy eating and good sleeping,” she says. “Stay away from caffeine and alcohol and all the things that could put your mood in a more depressed state than it already is. Alcohol is actually a depressant. Shift those coping skills to be more aware of what things outside of your body can do to affect your mood and the inside of your body.”

She also recommends getting out in nature and connecting to your surroundings. “This will make you feel more engaged. Going out for a walk, visiting a senior center and getting involved with groups or activities can make you feel more connected to your community and with people, which will help decrease depression and grief.”

Staying in touch with family and friends through phone calls is also a great way to remain connected. “Social interaction is so important when you feel isolated,” says Rebecca. During COVID, many seniors became more tech-savvy and used video calls to see others when they had to keep isolated. Using Zoom, FaceTime, Skype and other technology enhances social interactions when you can’t be in the same place as your loved ones. Just being able to see the other person’s face and expressions makes it more meaningful.

One older couple often puts their laptop on their dining room table and while they eat they Zoom with a family member or friend who are also enjoying a meal. They’re having dinner with that person even though they’re not in the same room.

Another important thing, she says, is not to focus on the actual day. Just because you can’t be together on Christmas day or during Hannukah doesn’t mean you can’t get together to celebrate later on. It’s not an all-or-nothing situation.

When it comes to grieving a loss, try to connect with family members and friends who share memories of that person and can reminisce along with you. “You need to talk about the person and share and express that loss,” says Rebecca. “Unfortunately, I think when you get to a certain age, you feel like you’re a burden, so you actually keep it in.”

For men, it can be even harder to reach out. “Unfortunately, they’re still socialized to be more masculine with their feelings, and when they get older, they may have fewer connections in life than women,” she says. “So they don’t have those close friends or maybe hobbies that can give them some relief.”

If you don’t have family members or friends you can rely on, or if you would prefer to share your grief with a professional, there are many support groups for seniors. “There’s nothing wrong with getting professional support and it may actually be easier and safer because you can express yourself more honestly, and the advice you’ll get will probably be a little more neutral,” says Rebecca.

Grief is very individualized and everyone processes it a little differently. What might be right for one person may not work for another. But, it’s important to remember, she says, that everyone deals with it so you’re not alone. “Whether you’re 70 years old or 30 years old, if you’re sad, depressed or grieving, there is support out there and there’s also people who want to help you, whether that’s family members or professionals.”

Grief support groups can be found at a number of places, including some senior and community centers. They are also available at H3. Its three locations, in St. Claire Shores, in Detroit and another in Royal Oak, have a combined group of 20 therapists.

“We have an integrative approach, so we’re a hub for wellness services and specifically mental health, so we have therapy, medical management, psychological and neurological testing.” The practice also partners with people in the community or with people who are part of their team who have an integrated wellness niche too, such as chiropractors, naturopaths, and massage therapists. They’re part of its outreach to get their clients what they need.

Rebecca sees a lot of seniors in her practice, and enjoys helping them get on a positive path to mental health. “We tend to get stuck in ‘Well, I’m old and this is how it’s supposed to be,’ but it’s not,” she says.  

H3Well.com

Written for Grosse Pointe Lifestyle magazine in Michigan.

A wonderful holiday tradition for people of every age

By Sue Baldani

The Nutcracker has become a beloved holiday tradition for many families over the years. The New Jersey Ballet Company (NJBC) is celebrating its 52nd performance at the Mayo Performing Arts Center (MPAC) in Morristown. NJBC performs throughout the state from Bergen County down to Cape May, and it does a number of performances at the Mayo Performing Arts Center. 

“It’s quite exciting  that we’re the resident ballet company at MPAC,” says Maria Kowroski, artistic director of the New Jersey Ballet Company since 2021 and former principal dancer with the New York City Ballet, where she had performed in the Nutcracker many times. “It’s a beautiful theater and everybody involved aims to make this holiday classic a performance to remember.”

The late Carolyn Clark, who founded NJBC, previously stated, “In 1971, George Tomal, Joseph Carow and I believed New Jersey Ballet, which was established in 1958, was well-positioned to present this holiday tradition to New Jerseyans. Hence the birth of New Jersey Ballet’s Nutcracker. Messrs. Tomal and Carow created the choreography, which we still perform today, and the great Edward Villella was our first Cavalier! Today, we have been continuing their legacy at the beautiful Mayo Performing Arts Center”

In this enchanting story, which is set to Tchaikovsky’s iconic score performed live by the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra, young Clara is given a colorful nutcracker at a party, and after she goes to bed, a magic spell takes effect.

In the ensuing storyline, fantastical characters such as giant mice, child-size soldiers, a Sugar Plum Fairy, and of course, the Nutcracker, who turns into a handsome prince, cavort and dance on stage to the audience’s delight. It’s a tale that transcends time, and resonates with people of all ages, sexes and religions. When it’s over, it also lets the audience translate what really happened in their own way.

“It’s up to everybody’s interpretation to decide if it’s a dream [that Clara has] or if it really happened,” says marketing director, Kotoe Kojima-Noa, who has been with NJBC since 2001.

Its heartwarming, uplifting storyline has something for everyone, young and old. “A lot of people, after seeing it for the first time, make attending The Nutcracker a yearly tradition,” says Maria. “I think it’s a wonderful way to introduce children to ballet and the arts. Our production has children in it, so I think it encourages them to want to be a part of it. ”

One of their favorite parts, she says, is always the battle scene with the mice and the Nutcracker. Maria’s favorite part of the production is the snow scene, which she calls “magical.”

As a child, she actually played the role of Clara in the Nutcracker. “The music and the scene where everything starts to grow and come to life is really, really, emotional. The music sweeps you away and transports the audience. This is also one of my favorite parts and cherished memories as a young dancer.”

Theatergoers will come away with wonderful memories that they will cherish for years. It’s great entertainment, whether someone is a ballet aficionado or not, and being able to see it at The Mayo Performing Arts Center is a huge bonus.

It’s not only close to home, but very reasonably priced. There’s ample parking and a train station within walking distance for those who prefer to leave the car behind. Plus, since it’s in Morristown, there are plenty of restaurants to visit for a wonderful meal before or after a show.

Whether experiencing the Nutcracker for the 52nd time or the first time, the magic never gets old. “Anybody who’s returning year after year will see some changes along the way that will keep them coming back for more,” says Maria. “It’s just a wonderful time of the year and a wonderful holiday production to make a yearly tradition.”

See it on your own, with your loved one, or with your entire family. It’ll be a performance you won’t forget, and you may even dream about the Nutcracker yourself. Or maybe it won’t be a dream at all!

For more information and to buy your tickets, go to MayoArts.org.

Written for Morris City Lifestyle magazine in New Jersey.

Make a world of difference for one furry friend

By Sue Baldani

This holiday season, instead of adding another electronic device or kitchen gadget to your home, bring home some love. The love of a pet, that is.

Animal rescues and shelters have so many beautiful, fun and loving dogs and cats available. There are also rescues for specific breeds, so if you’ve always wanted a German Shepherd or a Maine Coon cat, no problem.

However, it’s also important to keep an open mind when looking for a specific type of pet. You may go into a shelter determined to get a doodle, but when you see that cocker spaniel looking at you with soulful, sweet eyes, you just might change your mind.

Ana Meyer, editor of this magazine, found her perfect dog Lucky, a Havanese, at a pet adoption event at her local pet store. She had never even heard of the breed before. “There’s something about connecting with a future pet once you look into their eyes and engage with them,” she says. “Lucky was the best fit for our family of five and with three young kids, he was the best for us. When one of us is sick, he sits next to us with his body against us, like he is protecting us, knowing that a family member is not feeling well.” 

I’ve been fortunate to have adopted many wonderful cats and dogs in my life, and have taken chances on those who may not have seemed so perfect at first. However, with kindness and patience, they turned out to be the best pets I could have ever wanted.

Grover, our now 7-year-old black cat that we adopted from the Somerset Regional Animal Shelter (SRAS), has a chronic sinus condition which results in a constant runny nose, but he’s the sweetest boy ever. He sleeps with me and loves when I cuddle him close.

When we first adopted our younger cat, Wes, from SRAS, boy was he a handful! He would seek out and destroy any plastic bags in the house as if they were his life-long enemies. But he too is now a wonderful addition to our household and one we couldn’t imagine life without.

If you aren’t sure whether a pet would be a good fit for your home and lifestyle, there is an option to foster. This will give you a chance to become familiar with pet ownership, and even if it doesn’t work out, the pet will have had a home for at least a little while and have a safe place to return.

“I think it’s very important when someone chooses a pet to do their research about the breed, talk to friends who are pet owners and understand the commitment and joy it is to have a furry family member at home,” says Ana.

There are many great resources online, and at many local shelters. The staff usually knows the animals in their care and can match a dog or cat’s personality with the person or family looking to adopt.

There’s a saying about how adopting one animal may not change the world, but it will change that pet’s entire world. A shelter or cage is no place for a dog or cat to spend its life. Give an animal a home for the holidays and you and your family will enjoy the love for years to come.

AKC.org

PetFinder.com

SRASNJ.org

SARARescue.com

Written for Chatham & Short Hills Lifestyle magazine in New Jersey.

Photos by Chris Jorda Photography in Millburn.